If you met me at a party I wouldn’t have much to say.  I’m an introvert.

If you saw me on YouTube, Twitter, Google Hangouts, Zoom, Facebook live, on my Coffee With Lisa Video Podcast TV interview or speaking on stage you would never know it has never been easy for me to start a conversation with people I don’t know. After law enforcement college, I was terrified to go to networking events, but I also knew that people weren’t come to my home for coffee either.

You can adapt, and be an introvert or an extrovert, depending on the situation. AND NO, you don’t have to change who you are, just how you communicate.

Dr. Tony Alessandra, my partner will tell you that your success truly depends on the relationships you build.  Think about it: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The Golden Rule implies the basic assumption that other people would like to be treated the way that you would like to be treated. The alternative to the Golden Rule is the Platinum Rule.

“Treat others the way they want to be treated.” Ah hah! What a difference. The Platinum Rule accommodates the feelings of others. The focus of relationships shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing” to “let me first understand what they want and then I’ll give it to them.”

Dr. Tony Alessandra

Therefore apply the platinum rule to everything you do.

If you are hosting a party you appear to become an extrovert to keep things going and keep the guests happy, but when you’re a guest at a party you appear to become an introvert.

As a professional speaker and educator I become an extrovert in order to deliver information.

2019 CPHR HR Bootcamp

But when I attend seminars as a guest I am much more introverted. So how do you become an extrovert in the right situations when you are naturally comfortable being an introvert?


  1. PASSION. I get so excited about helping others, that I’m compelled to share it with the world! When you are passionate about your product, idea or service you pay less attention to how you are perceived. Instead you end up spending more time paying attention to how you feel and showing that excitement for what you have to offer and how it will benefit others.
  2. SAY HELLO. I refuse to stand in an elevator and watch the floors go by. There is always a moment to acknowledge others. I force myself to look everyone in the eyes and say hello.
  3. BE THE QUEEN OF PERSISTENCE. Never stop at ‘no.’ You need to follow up with the connections you make. When you believe in your product, company and yourself you will be willing to be persistent in your pursuit and risk being criticized for it. David Lee Jensen, #1 Bestselling Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Humanitarian, Founder of The Hiring Academy gave me the title of “Queen of Persistence’ because of my relentless respectful followup.
  4. SPEAK TO OTHERS IN THEIR CODE. The focus of every conversation is always be about them and ‘who they are.’ What is their personality style? I am a very direct, tell it like it is person. My nature is not to sugar coat the information and get straight to the point. However, that style of personality can often rub many others the ‘wrong way.’ I’ve learned that in some situations, depending on the person across the table, that a few quick questions about their children, a recent holiday, a spouse’s new adventure can go a long way to fostering trust, and is not always within my comfort zone of conversation style.

Practice the Platinum Rule every day with every connection you make and every conversation you have! You will gain trust and reap the rewards of your efforts.

Be Great,